Tamara's Story

Dear Humans,

with a capital H, because I respect each and every one of you- freedom fighters and warriors- so much, I'm sending my story, my testimony and my experience of the past two and a half years.

I will start with a quote from a book I was reading at the very moment I realised where the world will be headed and the illusions the power structures have fed us, for a long time, but more intensively since the start of the "pandemic".

Maybe it was providence of some sort, because I wanted to read the book by Viktor Frankl Man's Search for Meaning for a few years, but somehow never got to do it until autumn of 2020.

" Man can preserve a vestige of spiritual freedom, of independence of mind, even in such terrible conditions of psychic and physical stress. We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."

These words had an impact on me, the kind I will never forget for as long as I live. Although I felt something was pretty fishy with the whole corona act since the beginning; in the autumn of 2020 I lost my job like so many others due to constant threats of lockdowns, or even lockdowns themselves- it wasn't up until that time I have had enough time to put my foot on what exactly was the thing that felt so wrong aside of business and politics as usual.

Now to rewind my story a bit, so I can explain why. I studied comparative literature and have always wanted to work in the film industry, a little dream of mine was to become a film director. But since I had no resources to apply where I wanted (i.e. FAMU), and I did not wanted to study anywhere else I went down the path of studying something which would be in certain aspects, at least theoretically in line with my love of films. In the end after my MA I landed a job working in Academy of Dramatic Arts for a year, and later I slowly began to work in film festival production. So by the time of 2020, I finally had a CV references and have landed a job which provided a average salary in my country, moved in with my fiancée in a rented apartment and was hopeful for new opportunities of advance in my field, maybe even to start my own business in a few years. And then I got reality checked- lockdowns hit, and cultural events stopped, and the whole thing went down the drain. So in the autumn of 2020 I started to research a little something called a PCR test, which was a constant topic on the last job I had in an office for production of a film festival (the last one I worked on) in the summer of 2020, during the lockdown ease. I was constantly on the phone with embassies on travel regulations for guests and it involved a lot of ping- pong conversations around valid PCRs, rules that were changing by the day and so on. The funny thing is the embassies never really wanted to leave a paper trail of the things they said on the phone. The e-mails were always a lot of words but nothing said and occasional web links on official pages. So I got intrigued by what the hell that PCR was and how it works, especially because a lot of my family members have some connection to medicine, my mother worked in epidemiology department as a laboratory technician for years and was very skeptical of how things were done and what is going on (no blood tests, no CRPs, no differential diagnoses- only the PCR everywhere were in her mind the fishy thing). So somewhere around this time I started reading Frankl as well, and reading those lines, I felt the pieces of the puzzle coming together in a form of a ten minutes long panic attack. By that time I have read the Corman Drosten review report, heard on occasion comments of the narrative sceptics and a lot of offensive jokes on them while at the same time the vaccine propaganda was starting to get pretty aggressive and obvious. When I realised how the pieces fit together, I was bewildered. I started crying silent tears, my stomach and diaphragm twisted in a painful cramp and I had to fight to catch my breath. The room around me felt like it was collapsing and all I could see was pain and destruction. I know now it sounds maybe dramatic, but when it hits you, the feelings are crazy and I doubt we have words to describe that in a accurate way. It felt like my whole life crashed on me, my whole life efforts were in vain because all I could see was the long line of what is to come- a line of utterly enslaved cattle, with no life of their own, no mind and will of their own, nothing. Just being born, fighting to survive without a meaning except to become a value asset to the QR code overlord and die in anonymity. The hell in my soul broke loose and the only people I can thank for being alive today after that are the people I have never met in person. The anonymous people from Twitter and Telegram. I know if any of the people from my everyday life ever get to read this, it may break their heart, but I have never felt so alone and abandoned in my entire life as in the year of 2021. Even the skeptics around me were hard to talk to. Even the most solid friendships were near braking point on the corona matter and lockdown policies. But the worst part of it was at home. My fiancée started to believe me after of a long and painful year of living together, broke, with both of us loosing jobs in the end of 2020, in a rented apartment with debts raising by the month. I promised myself if it is the last thing I do in this life I will keep both of us safe, no matter the everyday fighting, the tears, the pain, the resentment. No matter depression I've been in, no matter of days when all I had in my mind was a silent prayer to die in my sleep in his arms not to watch all my life crumbling to nothingness by the day. While at the same time I know of so called friends and familiar people talked about me losing my mind behind my back while pretending to be full of compassion for our fucked up situation. For a year I have spent 24 hours a day reading everything from literature I could find on vaccines, S protein ( which included all the literature about everything in the field I wasn't very familiar with although I have a good background in biology and chemistry from high school, I just didn't want to study those for fear of loosing freedom of thought). After a year of every kind of resistance possible to people like me ( online, writing e-mails, FOIAs, guerilla in cultural events XD, etc.) I finally started to get some calls from people in medicine, but what I realised that actually most people in those fields are the most frightened ones. They are marginalized, isolated and mentally tortured by their colleagues of the same mindset the witch hunters possessed. I still feel very sorry for them. For the ones with witch-hunt mindset and the globalist useful idiots, I have only one wish- May God give you mercy and a long life in which you will be the judged ones on account of your acts by your children and the sorrow in their eyes. Man can not invent a harder sentence than that.

And for my dramatic feelings in the beginning they have long subsided. My resolve is, however, even more hardened. I found a temporary job in a local store, I work physically to pay my bills and pay off my debts, but I will get back to where I was stopped. And I will make a difference. I still try everyday to read everything I can to be on the top of new studies. I have now more correspondents from different academic fields in medicine you can count on your hand fingers and the best part of that is most of them are anonymous to you still. They walk among you but they don't object- still. They listen to you but you do not know who they are. When they grow out of their fear then it is your time to start being very scared.

As for and to the main players of all this, I say this - My life is my own. I was a child of war when born, I don't mind dying for freedom in this kind of war you forced on us. You don't own me and you never will. I was near the abyss of my life, I wanted to die. My life has nearly collapsed in full but I survived still. Two years of torture, and I'm still here. Ready to be an eternal pain in your ass. You can conquer the world, but you will never get me. I choose my life. And I choose to fight you until my dying breath if it has to be that way. For the hope I can still have a family when this is all over, for the sake of my future children, and for the sake of all children now. You broke me and I have rebuilt. I fear you not. Actually, I was so broken I have gone through it all in my mind, and you have no cards left to play on me anymore that I don't know how to deal with. I feel sorry for your sad asses. You are bound to self-destruct eventually.

As for my fellow humans, I have few words left. Love is the only way out. Love for your kids especially. Love their future more than you love life itself. Because they are your life and although a lot have forgotten over comfort zones and luxury, it is your duty as parents to secure your children with a better future than what you were thrown in. Forget the false idols, ideologies, and political parties. There is no left or right anymore, the paradigm has shifted to freedom vs. slavery. So choose wisely and choose people that will have no immunity for decisions they are making but rather are willing to suffer any consequence of their actions be it good or bad. This is the course politics should be headed in these times. Individual responsibility, no party and no hypocrisy.

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Best of luck fellow Humans,

Tamara